I Could Use Some Chocolate...

right about now. Check out Godiva's new
Bananas Foster. While I'm at it (in my fantasy of being alone in the store unattended), I'm also going to have a key lime pie, a salted caramel (it could be good) and a mexican hot chocolate (contains habanero peppers!).

Roar

I am woman and man, hear me roar!!

After many failed attempts, some boiling water and more plunging attempts, I finally fixed a clogged toilet myself. This was not any ordinary clog. This was one that I'd tried plunging a dozen times, flushed after the water had gone down (which took an hour or so) and that I let sit over night.



This article actually helped or maybe it's a coincidence. Once I had the idea to get the air out of the plunger first, I was able to get supreme suction going. It occurs to me as I type this, how little interest this is going to hold for the .5 readers of my blog. Please appreciate this blog post as a geeky girl's version of the end zone dance. I am constantly excited when I tackle something that I think falls under the job description of handyman. On to the towel rack that recently fell down.

I Hate Computers

I'm Farah

I think my most recent haircut is a feathered hairdo without all of the right styling to make it that way. I found the Feathered-Back Hair site by trying to determine if people ever shaved pictures into their back hair. I would have kept looking, but too many of the Google responses had the word "pubic" in the summary and I didn't want to be scarred by clicking further.

The Feathered-Back Hair site also has an odd collection of movies with people eating out of containers. Think I'm kidding? Check it out!

Christmas Shopping: Who Can Use a Stamp?

Having fun doing early online Christmas shopping. Came across this craftlike object:



I can think of a few times over my career that I could have used this :-D.

iPod My Baby

Just in time for Christmas, these iPod onesies:



Don't worry, not trying to say anything indirectly. Just thought this was really funny and cute.

No More Eyebrows

I have a semi-serious habit of tugging at my eyebrows when thinking hard. I swear I'm going to have bald patches in my eyebrows before the semester is over. Since I don't feel a compulsion to do it and don't eat the hair, I feel safe that I don't have Trichotillomania. I always thought of it as something that made you go bald (on your head), but apparently it can affect eyelashes, eyebrows and even underarm and pubic hair. Oh my lord!! I think even the blogger is speechless on that one. Back to studying...

in a minute. I can't resiste a quote from one of the many success stories. Here is a suggestion on how to stop pulling your hair. I think she means something more spiritual than laying a hairball at God's ankles:

1. Lay trichotillomania down at the feet of the Lord. Leave it there and don't pick it up again.

Here is my favorite affirmation from Millie's story:

"This is my hand, which God created for good." " I am in control of it and I don't have to let it raise to my head, to pull out my hair, just because an urge tells it to do so." "My hand will follow God and not an urge."

Reading the site for three minutes has sufficiently scared me out of touching my eyebrows. Okay, now back to studying... I mean it this time.

Turducken, Andouille...

I just learned about a cajun dish I'm not sure I'll ever try to make and maybe not even eat: turducken. It's a chicken in a duck in a turkey and it all gets cooked together:



You can buy them online from Cajun Specialty Foods. If you've had one, I'd love to know what you thought.

I'm always up for Andouille sausage. My favorite place to get it (served to you vs. shipped) is Bud's Louisiana Food Shoppe. Although I have stopped drinking coffee myself, their Cafe au Lait is to die for. I also recommend their Po Boys and the bread pudding - which they swear is made with freshly sliced bread.

Weird Intersection: Trolls and Fireflies

Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie have a weird intro on their site featuring the star of "Firefly". I must be proof that they have similar or overlapping demographics. No Ven diagram today, kids.

(Red Raspberry Sound Here)

Going cross-eyed staring at the walls.

I worked on my felt Christmas tree, cleaned up, watched a movie, researched new quick bread recipes, read my e-mail, mostly caught up on blogs, read all my favorite news sites and even my second favorite ones. I suppose any normal person would head to bed about now.

Unstoppable Lasagna Takes Down Security Force

Bad lasagna fells security forces at Americas Summit

"The massive security force deployed by Argentina for an Americas-wide presidential summit this week suffered its first glitch on Wednesday -- food poisoning. At least 70 federal police officers guarding the beach resort hotel where U.S. President George W. Bush and others will meet were overcome by diarrhea and vomiting after dining on lasagna at a nearby hotel late on Tuesday, police commissioner Daniel Rodriguez told local radio."

Legend of the Pickle

Searching for Christmas crafts, I came across one to make your own Christmas Pickle ornament:



Apparently there is an urban legend about the supposed German myth:

But the biggest problem with the German pickle (saure Gurke) tradition is that no one in Germany has ever heard of it.

Ultimate Sandwich

Ultimate Sandwich, originally uploaded by baglady.

The best part of Spanglish was the DVD extra describing the sandwich Adam Sandler makes as a late night snack in the movie. (Well, to be fair... there were some other good points in the movie.) I skipped the cheese. Here's my version:

Lightly toasted good bread. Small amount of mayo. Fresh tomato and lettuce. Crisp bacon. A fried egg or two. Fried in butter, people!

A BLT or even a BLTA (Avocado) is good already, but not quite filling enough for dinner. The fried egg makes it a more manly BLT. I want to try a BLT with basil instead of lettuce. Don't think that would work well with eggs though.

Lady Hazard

My face is covered with sea kelp.

Brother, Can You Spare A Kotex?

This is something I take for granted and can't even imagine living without. It also proves what a man's world it is, especially in Zimbabwe. If men got their periods, women could take over governments across the world in non-violent coups in less than one lunar month.

Zimbabwe in sanitary towels plea

Women trade unionists in Zimbabwe have appealed for international funds to make sanitary towels available at an affordable price.

South African towels are available at black market prices, but one month's supplies can easily cost half a month's wages - much more if a woman has teenaged daughters at home, who also need them.

"One MP within the parliament did raise the issue of the sanitary towels," she told the BBC.

"But society finds it taboo to talk about it, so to them it was just a joke, because everyone laughed when they talked about it.

"And I remember one minister said we should go back to history: somebody's telling us now we should go back and use hides."

But Ms Khumalo says women are now reduced to using rags and old newspapers, which are uncomfortable and unpleasant and increase the risk of infections.

*****

This was not a sophisticated ruse to lose all male readers of my blog ;). I swear. I didn't even bring up tampons, so there.

Husband's Day

Indians are celebrating husband's day. Honestly, this must have been thought up by a man!



"In India it is the eve of Karvachauth, Husband's Day. As well as painting their hands with henna, married women fast and offer prayers for their husbands."

I'm trying to see it in a good light, but it sounds really lame. I will take this back if there is a corollary day called Wives Day. Instead of starving, men should have to clean and do laundry. Then they need to reinact the Kenny Rogers' song "Buy Me a Rose":

Buy me a rose, call me from work
Open a door for me, what would it hurt
Show me you love me by the look in your eyes

Uh oh, mean time between quoting country lyrics is falling.

Governor Suggests Putting SSN on Forearm?

here she comes, originally uploaded by tromasbronot.

If the floodwaters don't get ya, the identity thieves will. I guess that wasn't his most pressing worry.

Here's Some Blogorrhea For Ya

Just saw the term "blogorrhea" in Time magazine. According to the UrbanDictionary it means:

To write a blog entry just for the sake of posting an entry, not because you have anything interesting today.

Used in a sentence:

I couldn't really think of anthing good to blog about, so my last post was real blogorrhea.

Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head

Rainy, originally uploaded by baglady.

If I remember the song right, the next part is about going to bed, I think. Or maybe it's about big feet?

Use The Dolls To Explain How They Touched You...

Here is a disturbing playset!

The Airline Screening Playset: Hours of Fun!

The Only Mistake Is To Do Nothing: Procrastination

Good article on Kiplinger's site via Slackermanager:

Career Advice: Just do it

I once asked a group of top executives how many of them consider themselves to be serious procrastinators. Just 25% raised a hand. But when I put that question to groups of unemployed job seekers, 80% of the hands went up. That's consistent with what I've found in my 18 years as a career coach: Too often, procrastination can kill a career.

Many people learn procrastination in school. They wait until the last minute to write a paper or to study for a test, but, thanks to grade inflation, they still end up with a decent grade. That gets them by until they land in higher-level jobs, where there's no such thing as grade inflation to bail them out of their bad habits.

Some people procrastinate to avoid failure.

Keeping the Stationary and Towel Monogramming Costs Down?

Did you know that Belgium kings are always named Frederik or Christian? It's true:

Baby born to Danish royal couple

Denmark's Crown Prince Frederik and his Australian-born wife, Crown Princess Mary have had a baby boy. The child, tipped to be called Christian in line with royal tradition, becomes second in line to the throne.

Man Loses 1 Ton Cheddar in River - Oops!

From Slashfood:

A team of divers armed with $5,000 worth of sonar equipment recently attempted to locate roughly one ton of cheddar cheese dropped into Montreal’s Saguenay River last October. After hours of searching the Baie des Ha! Ha! (honest), the divers still had no luck.

*****

The article talks about how a sailor raved about some cheese he'd found in the lake (something like that). Who eats cheese they find in water. Ew.

On the Road Again: Willie Nelson Biodiesel

You think I'm kidding, but I couldn't be more serious. Willie Nelson, yes this one:



has his own brand of biodiesel. You can even buy a custom mousepad and bumper sticker. It's actually pretty cool. I don't know that I would want to deal with the mess and smell, but if gas prices go up much more I'll be thinking about it!

Never Prettier

I remember the day I was married, my grandmother whispering in my ear, "You will never look more beautiful than you do today". She was right. It's inevitable. We reach the peaks of our looks and then slowly get more middle-aged looking. Those reading that are older than I am (if anyone is indeed reading ;), might be offended that I am already complaining about this. I can tell the difference the last decade - or even the last five years have made. My head turning phase was very short lived and that might have had more to do with working in a man's field than my great looks :P. (At many jobs I've been the only woman in my unit). All of the sudden I'm the person college students and dads ask what aisle they need at the grocery store. I know the answers too. Frozen garlic bread is near entrees and pizzas. Peanut butter is on the bread aisle. Breadcrumbs are on the top shelf near the baking supplies. I know when to use Tylenol or Advil. I know how to get wine out of a light colored shirt and I always have a tire guage in my car. I like nurturing people a lot. I don't miss having less life experience, but I do miss my 20-something flatter stomach and glowy skin. What I miss the most is feeling more confident that I'm appreciated as a woman. That sounds so cheesy, but any ladies reading this will know what I mean!

This week's Time has a great except from Dr. Andrew Weil's book on living better, longer: Healthy Aging:

I hope that you will discover and enjoy the benefits that aging can bring: wisdom, depth of character, the smoothing out of what is rough and harsh, the evaporation of what is inconsequential and the concentration of true worth.

I'm feeling some of those in small amounts. I am wise on some topics... although some issues in particular - I have huge blind spots. If depth of character can be reflected in letting people see how weird I am and being comfortable with that, I think I can count it. I gave some of you the address of the blog :P. I see the smoothing out, but there is a long way to go. It would be nice if you could get personality callous remover. The last area has been very problematic for me lately. Far too many things are falling in the inconsequential category. I don't see many in the true worth column. Things feel out of balance. I don't know if it's life choices or attitude. Speaking of attitude, I am temporarily breaking my moratorium on quoting country lyrics:

I don't buy the lines in magazines
That tell me what I've gotta be
Don't base my life on a movie screen
Don't fit the mold...

I don't need to be 19 years old
Or starve myself for some weight I'm told
Or turn men's heads...

And I no longer justify
Reasons for the way that I behave
I offer no apologies
For the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

Cause I'm a real live woman

Okay, so don't forget to notice!!!

Nein in Germany: John Jacob Jingle Himer-Smith

Some countries regulate children's names. Germany doesn't allow hyphens. They worry about the epidemic caused by hypenated people marrying and having kids with four surnames and so on and so on. They also make sure that first names make sex obvious and if not, that the middle name makes it obvious.

If you have a subscription to the WSJ, you can read the whole article.

Papa Smurf To The Rescue of African Child Soldiers

This blog is just writing itself tonight... and I'm not making it up! CNN reports:



Out of an idyllic blue sky dotted with birds and butterflies come warplanes that carpet-bomb the Smurfs' forest village, killing Smurfette, leaving Baby Smurf wailing in distress and sending Papa Smurf and the others bolting for cover.

The scene from a bizarre commercial featuring Belgium's lovable blue-skinned cartoon characters is so upsetting it can only be shown after 9 p.m. to avoid scaring children.

Smurfette is killed and the others go running. Baby Smurf sits crying at the edge of a bomb crater.

*****

It seems like a strange approach for a very worthy cause.

Oh Boy! George

Just when you thought Boy George's look:



couldn't get worse, this happens:

U Can't Touch This

Yo, check this out! MC Hammer may be available for your next event. We've been looking for a keynote speaker for our next computing conference. This is going to top my list!

"He had previously been part of religious rap group the Holy Ghost Boys." I wonder if Amazon or iTunes has any of their music.

Baglady Also Likes to Can

Determined to get my value out of the six pounds of Costco peaches that turned out to be too ripe, I embarked on a peach preserves odyssey. It's a two day recipe. Sadly, I started to feel too tired to can by the second day, but had a pot of peaches begging to be finished. Turned out really yummy.

What Your Workspace Says About You

Interesting post on Open Loops (via Lifehacker) about what your workplace says or doesn't say about you.

"Whose Got the Time? – Those who “get it done” are time conscious and will often have a time piece somewhere to help them keep track of the time. “Clock lovers are often meticulous and hardworking.”"

Not going to run out and get some clocks. I have two on my desk (on my computers) and three when you count the phone. Four with my cell phone.

"Motivation Plaques, Posters, etc. – This person is engaged in their job and wants to stay engaged."

I know what they're saying. When I see one of those motivational posters in a conference room it is akin to a bonehead alarm. "Bonehead nearby and/or in charge" :-D :O!

To Each Is Own: Ask Jeeves Proposal

I guess this guy rates points for asking his girl to get married. However, he loses some for the method:

"I proposed via Ask Jeeves. I brought Yisha to my office, ask her to search on her name. While she was doing that I kneeled behind her with the ring and flowers. She typed in her name into Ask Jeeves, full name, and up came a special Smart Answer (thanks to Jim Lanzone and team) with the proposal."



While creative, it is completely dorky. That's right... not nerdy, which is cool - DORKY. Nerdy would be something like hacking into your girlfriend's computer and displaying a message:

I own your box, but you own my heart.
Will you marry me?

or

Your Windows installation lacks SP2.
Without you in my life, I am < SP1.
Will you marry me?

Except for the viral connotation, the countless dollars in economic damage and the laws broken, the Melissa virus was kind of romantic. An .ico on your web site related to something that reminds you of her, getting into dorkyland, but 98% nerd.

Nagin for Bush?

C'est impossible?!

Mayor Ray Nagin of New Orleans fame appears to have supported Bush in the 2000 presidential election ... If you can trust a site called newsmeat.

PSP Sandwich

Last slashfood tidbit of the evening, the PSP in food contest.

I really liked the sandwich:

No Need To Call In Sick...

Dark chocolate may help ease diarrhea. Someone is sh**ing me.

Brilliant or Retarded: Nicotine Beer

Read this for yourself or you won't believe me (from Slashfood):

Apparently a day can’t go by without news of some sort of German beer innovation... now comes word of German beer maker blending nicotine into their brew.

NicoShot, a 6.3 percent alcohol beer with 3 milligrams of nicotine, could be used as a way to quit smoking, sort of like nicotine gum, says the beer’s producer, Nautilus.

NicoShot could also be useful for smokers faced with smoking bans in pubs.

***

My verdict - retarded. I suppose for smokers at pubs who are too lazy to get off the stools for cigarrette breaks, this spells genius.

Who Do You Support?

It seems like there is a ribbon for everything today. I can't keep up. I understand pink for breast cancer, yellow for troops. Is red "no to drugs"? You can make your own with the ribbon generator. I don't have a fully formed idea, but this is what I'm going with for my first ribbon movement.

Reservations

Just stumbled on a new favorite Wilco song, "Reservations". It would be amazing to have someone write you a love song, but maybe not this one. Too real.

*****

How can I convince you it's me I don't like
And not be so indifferent to the look in your eyes
When I've always been distant
and I've always told lies for love

I'm bound by these choices so hard to make
I'm bound by the feeling so easy to fake
None of this is real enough to take me from you

Oh I've got reservations
about so many things
but not about you

I know this isn't what you were wanting me to say
How can I get closer and be further away
From the truth that proves it's beautiful to lie

****

I guess that's just it. I probably want to hear the lies at least some of the time. (Too lazy to do the right characters. Imagine I'm slick).
- Vous etes la femme la plus belle au monde.
- Il n'ya personne comme vous.
- Je mourrais sans vous.
- Vous etes l'amour de la vie.
- Sie sinde die grobe deutsche Frau.
and my favorite (every 6 mos is enough):
- Don't lose any weight. You are perfect as you are.

I am going to quit now before I put Morrissey out of business.

Salt n' Peppa(corn)

Slashfood found a very cool closeup of salt and a peppercorn:

Onion Patch Incident

Enjoyed seeing friends play the open mic night at Twiggs.



I love their band name - an obscure Napoleon Dynamite reference.

Oktoberfest/Halloween Costume

I've been half-heartedly searching for an Oktoberfest outfit that could double duty as a Halloween costume. My grandpa (super German) has real lederhosen and has worn them many times over the years. Most of the available styles are either too slutty or too much the other way. I came across a strange web site in looking for costumes: German Theme Wedding. What caught my eye is that the *very* first link is Big Girls' Bras. That seems to be racist to me. Are large and German synonymous with one another?

Coffins Popping Up

This was one of the things I'd wondered about in my previous hurricane post. Certainly not the worst or most important aspect of the hurricanes, but it looks like it was an issue :(.

Scarecrow Toilet Seat Cover

This is lovely:

Realization #57

Sometimes (and more than you'd like), there is no one that knows the answer. You just have to do the best you can. This is closely related to realization #48. The only one who can stand up for you is you.

Stewart Smalleyesque quote of the day:

I am my own super hero.

The Real Iceland

Nature..at the beginning, originally uploaded by Kariobinja.

Visuals to go with previous post.

Iceland: Europe's Largest Desert

The BBC had an interesting podcast this week:

World Stories: The Biggest Desert in Europe

(I am too retarded/lazy to figure out how to provide a link. You can go to the iTunes store --> podcasts and search... easy to find).

Q: What do you do if you get lost in an Icelandic forest?
A: Stand up.

Even though the pictures of Iceland look like tundra, it's technically 1/3 desert. They have a huge soil erosion problem. Circa the Vikings, Iceland was green. One man talked about why he spends his retirement (airline pilot) planting trees for a forest he will never see. Paraphrasing and fixing his use of "mortuary" when he meant "obituary" ;).

Someday when I die, maybe someone will write an obituary about me. They'll say, "he changed the landscape". I'd rather that instead of, "He flew some drunken Icelandic to Majorca".

Blam

I had to turn off anonymous posting because I keep getting blam on my blog. That's what I'm calling blog spam.

Strange Inflatable Dwelling

A jumpy house for Coop or Matthew's next bday ;):

World's First Inflatable Pub

Office Slang

I thought I'd heard it all, but the Office Slang site had some need ones. My faves:

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”

Strange, but True... Lobster Vending Machines

Strange vending machines:



The same page has a link to some strange stores. I recommend skipping the "Hair Make PEE" store. Human parking sounds pretty good.

Don't Miss This Gem!

I wonder if it's possible to get dutch channels on satellite. Doesn't sound like you need to speak the language to understand this show:

Live drug taking plan on Dutch TV

A presenter on a new chat show in the Netherlands is planning to take drugs such as heroin live on air, aiming to tackle issues facing young people.

In other segments of the show, Wesselink plans to go on a drinking binge in a series of pubs. He also plans to take the hallucinogenic drug LSD - on his couch under the supervision of his mother.

BNN has courted controversy with its shows in the past, including a sex education programme which featured life-size mannequins with sex organs.

But Did He Get the Job? aka Fashion Emergency

Man's static jacket sparks alert:

An Australian man built up so much static electricity in his clothes as he walked that he burned carpets, melted plastic and sparked a mass evacuation.

One Bill Lower

I was excited to receive my latest auto policy bill. It was actually cheaper this year. I'm sure it's because my car is one year crappier. Found a cool link on the California Insurance Commissioner's site about comparing company premiums.

Compare Auto Insurance Premiums

Don't miss the home page. Talk about the ego involved in having a large picture of yourself. He looks like a kinder, gentler Alec Baldwin.

More Cowbell Katrina

This made me smile:

Email: I salute you, Texas

I just returned from the Austin Convention Center after working all day with Katrina Evacuees...

Yummm

Devilsfood cake with marshmallow frosting

Elvis in Post Its

Elvis made out of Post It notes = awesome!

What Is My French Name... Chain Blogging

Stolen off Happy's blog. My name is:


Chantal Lavallee

What's Your French Name?

Who's That Masked Man?!

If you need something quick to look at that will crack you up, check out:

Man Rocks Out iPod Style in Apple Store

Fall Is Here

When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

- John Mayer, "Something's Missing"

Where's the Beef?

Actually it's on its way to help hurricane victims in the gulf area:

Hickory Farms Donate Snacks For Hurricane Katrina Relief

Wonder if they want fruit cakes too.

Dumbest Ending To a Book EVER

(warning slight spoiler)

I just finished the prequel to "The DaVinci Code": "Angels & Demons". While not a literary keeper, it was a great action/suspense book. All 569 paperback pages of it. I brought it to the gym, read it before bed, over dinner, while waiting in the car, basically every chance I could get. It needed to end sooner. It had the dumbest last lines of all time. You could so tell a man wrote it :P.

Vittoria slipped off her robe. "You've never been to bed with a yoga master, have you?"

What the hell, Dan Brown? You suck me in with a great story about the Illuminati trying to bring down Catholicism and this is how the book ends?!

Definition of a Mack Daddy

I don't really know what a mack daddy is. If it means you kick butt, then here's someone who really does.

Kenya's Oldest Pupil Addresses the U.N. General Assembly

What is a pooter?

I don't really know, but here is how you make one:

Making the best kind of bug catcher

Scene of a Crime

I woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking about the hurricane victims, especially the ones in New Orleans. I just don't understand why it took so long to help people. It's not a naive thought or one placed there by the media. I just really don't understand. I'm filled with so much sadness for all of the people lost. I wish I had seen New Orleans before all of this happened. I wish citizens would have been allowed to pick people up in their SUVs or vans and to have joined the caravan to Texas. How much worse could things have turned out, had people been allowed to help? Even if it only helped a few hundred people, it would have mattered to them... and to the people who care for them. I read a coworker's account of being stuck in NO on "vacation". By Sunday when the evacuation was ordered, Greyhound and Amtrak had stopped running out of NO. Given the choice of going to the Superdome or staying home, I too probably would have chosen to stay at home.

I've been having some random thoughts on the whole situation. Obviously the most important worries are those for people, especially those who still need rescuing, care and those rebuilding their lives. I suspect in the coming months, as with 9/11, that we will learn about the other things lost. Some horrific, some sad, some strange. I wonder about all of the cemetaries - the ones people would tour or that were in movies set in NO. Did the coffins come loose? I remember when a family member died during El Nino a few years ago. The funeral was delayed twice. We were told the ground was so wet, if you buried someone, they would "pop back up" :O. That was a comforting thought :(. What about people about to be proscecuted for crimes? Crime scenes were completely destroyed, I bet. What about all of the people that don't have a photo of their parents or of their kids? In any city, I bet there are things everyone needs to get rid of. Why can't be those the only things lost? The world could do with a few less Epiladys, Foreman grills and pairs of parachute pants. Maybe the Gulf of Mexico would send us back some of the things we want if we started parachute pant sacrifices?

Gaim Is For Geeks

My laptop is in the shop and I finally installed Gaim on my desktop. I've been disconnected at night for a week. Gaim is definitely for geeks. What other program boasts a "wimp" theme, a "penguin pimp" emoticon theme and an esperanto spell checker.

What Makes a Good Programmer In a Nutshell

Why Good Programmers Are Lazy and Dumb:

Lazy, because only lazy programmers will want to write the kind of tools that might replace them in the end.

Second (and I will elaborate a bit more on this because I find the concept to be less known than the first) a good programmer must be dumb. Why? Because if he’s smart, and he knows he is smart, he will:

a) stop learning
b) stop being critical towards his own work

P.S. From Barfy

P.S. It's so hot, I feel nauseous (according to the dictionary that means "inclined to vomit", which I am).

Tomorrow's question... why does the heat accentuate your fat rolls? Some how the wet and stickiness that heat brings reminds me what a lard ass I am. Gross! Heat is not compatible with self esteem unless you are skinny maybe?

H O T

We have been on vacation and it was 96 today. We are only good until about 80 degrees. At almost midnight, it has only dropped to 84. This leads me to several questions:

1. How do people in hot climates keep from killing each other? The heat makes me crabby. Really crabby. I remember an apartment complex down the block getting painted a bright orange. I swear it was the same orange proven to incite violence in prisons (baby blue works best for keeping it down). Shortly thereafter, we had a heatwave. The kind of heat where the air is still and it's just too hot to move anywhere but the freezer section at the grocery store. That was the only time in the five years I lived in that neighborhood, that we had a murder on our street. It was some guy in the aggression-orange apartment buildings... he stabbed his wife to death. I'm not making any excuses for an obvious total psycho. However, I couldn't help but wonder at the time if the other factors contributed a little.

2. A friend pointed out that Bush spends his presidential vacation near Waco, Texas - which is REALLY hot in August. I wondered if it affected his decision making abilities, but decided no, because he must be used to the heat. I do wonder however, if any of the staffers he has in tow make different recommendations in heat.

3. This is a completely ignorant, stupid suggestion, but do hot areas have issues they wouldn't have in cold environments? Isn't the Middle East hot? Maybe they need to hold peace talks somewhere a lot more comfortable. "Iceland Peace Accords" isn't taken yet. The domain is still available! You could hold it in winter and let people leave the tables with the understanding that they would have to wait outside until they felt like talking again. Iceland is so cold, they don't have insects (or at least they are scarce).

It's feeling cooler now. Going to get some sleep.

Not Hopeful

Sunday morning should be relaxing and full of hope. I really hate Sunday morning. I really hate hating it.

SLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW

My internet pipe and water pressure have been slow for about eight days now. That sounds like something a paranoid schitzophrenic would blog about. I'm not alleging any conspiracy or involvement with aliens or satellites. Things are slow though and it's getting irritating!

A Quiz for Everything

Yes, there is a quiz for just about everything.

Is Your Boss a Psychopath?

For extra fun, check out the site's list of the Top Ten Bosses from Hell

One mentioned is Armand Hammer, whose name really is heard in my brain as Arm & Hammer, the baking soda brand. He sounds like a major douche bag, yet he was the benefactor of the UCLA Armand Hammer Museum (food poisoning hit me while trying to view the collection... that was no fun). Getty, a far greater patron of the arts, also a douche bag. I read that Getty didn't even return home when his young son died and merely noted it in his journal "a very sad day" along with the stock prices he followed. In my book some cool museums don't make up for either's misdeeds.

Across the Universe

Trying to decipher some words in "Across the Universe", I found out the line repeated several times that didn't sound like english, wasn't:

Jai guru deva om.

Maybe I'm the last person in the western world to know that it was a shout out to John Lennon's Guru Dev. Is there anything that is not in Wikipedia!? Well, I'm not. There is no entry for 'baglady'.

A Different Kind of 404 Error

I'd never heard of the Moroccan POW's just released:

The last Moroccan prisoners of war held by a group fighting for independence in Western Sahara have been released.
The 404 men, detained in southern Algeria for almost 20 years, will be reunited with their families in Morocco later on Thursday, the Red Cross says.

I guess there is more to worry about in the world than any one of us could keep track of. However, doesn't it seem wrong that CNN had a front page headline today that Jude Law and his ex-fiance were seen together?!

The God Shot

I started listening to the Coffee Geek podcast. Tonight I heard of something I'm not familiar with: the god shot. These coffee people are hardcore and aren't kidding (LOL). Does the Pope (or did the previous Il Papa) really bless coffee:

But what exactly is the God Shot? The answer comes naturally to me, so naturally, that I can't actually put it in words with ease, but I do know instinctively what it is. One thing it's not: it is not meant to be a slam against God, or the breaking of one of the Ten Commandments (Thou shalt not...). It is a homage to God in a way because when someone talks about a God Shot, it is something so special, so unique, so perfect, it's almost as if God Himself has blessed it. And since a long ago Pope proclaimed that God blesses and approves of coffee, it is only natural it could extend to the perfect espresso: the God Shot.

Repeat Play

At the risk of exposing my loserness and bad taste in music, here is a list of songs that over the past years I've listened to on repeat play. I wonder if others do this? Sometimes I can't get enough of a song. Here are some examples:

* Not Myself - John Mayer
* The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice
* Love Song for No One - John Mayer (more John Mayer, so I'll just not list it... you get the idea ;)
* You And I Both - Jason Mraz
* Debra - Beck
* Guess I'm Doing Fine - Beck
* Yellow - Coldplay
* Easy Way to Cry - David Gray
* Maybe You'll Be There - Diana Krall
* A Case of You - Diana Krall (cover of Joni Mitchell song)
* Alison - Elvis Costello
* As Hard As It Gets - Fine Young Cannibals
* Maybe I - Five for Fighting
* Better Together - Jack Johnson
* Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley
* Just Like Honey - Jesus & Mary Chain
* Wherever You Are - Mary Chapin Carpenter
* Meanwhile Rick James - Cake
* Hard Headed Woman - Cat Stevens
* For a While (Jasper Steverlinck's version)
* Haunt You Every Day - Weezer

Bein' Green

The Kermit the Frog song "Bein' Green" has been in my head for over a day. My favorite excepts:

It's not easy being green
It seems to blend in with so many other much more ordinary things
And sometimes people pass you over
Because you're not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
Green can be big like an ocean
Or important like a mountain
Or tall like a tree

But when green is all there is to be
It kind of makes you wonder why
Why wonder, wonder why?

I have this weird secret agent property where people often forget meeting me. It's not me changing my hair color too much or alternating between masks and mime outfits. I'm just kind of a euphemistic green. It can be really handy when you don't want to talk to someone you're about to run into. Sometimes it causes me to be rude. I assume someone won't remember me and I'll just feel lame when I confirm this, so I won't greet them. Now and then they do remember and I look snobby ;).

Woman Gets Bill Addressed to "Bitch Dog" :O

Think people in customer service are powerless to your ranting or abuse? Maybe not, depending on how badly their billing software tracks changes to customer profiles. From the ABC article:

... But when she got her August bill from Comcast she had no trouble understanding she'd made somebody mad. It was addressed to "Bitch Dog."

"I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said Govan, 25. "I was so mad I couldn't even cuss."

In another case, Peoples Energy customer Jefferoy Barnes started getting letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes."

That Ain't No Wonder Bra

That's right: Ganesha has man boobs:

I Hate Silverfish!

Perhaps the worst thing about moving closer to the ocean was moving in with silverfish. I friggin' hate these things:



Wikipedia was right when they said that, "they are known to cause emotional distress to bug haters."

Someone please expand the article and let me know how to get rid of them! I am a clean person, honest! It's not my fault.

Viking Ship Made Of Ice Cream Sticks

This reminds me of Mr. Green Eyes with his viking ancestry and his love of ice cream :).

Fired for "Sharting"

Simply Fired is holding a contest for the biggest loser story about getting fired. I vote for this guy who got fired for "sharting". Here's a tidbit:

As I abruptly got up to head to the restroom for a little post-shart clean up duty, Mr. Nazi Manager Guy stopped the meeting and said "sit back down". I told him I just needed to visit the restroom for a quick second. He said "either sit back down or you can just keep walking!".

or this one (also about poop sorry). Best quote:

"Now son. You can't be dropping Scooby snacks wherever you please..."

Topping the Banana Slug

UC Santa Cruz had the silliest school mascot all nailed down with the banana slug - or so I thought. Evergreen College's mascot is the geoduck, a burrowing clam. It looks more like a snale to me or maybe just something pornographic. "Is that a geoduck's protruding siphon in your pants or are you just glad to see me?"

Still Biting

Yep, something is still biting me. I can only effectively kill insects if I'm defending someone smaller who's afraid. I can't seem to kill bugs for myself. I'm now on the couch where I see a lot less mess. I can see more half done projects like the felt Christmas tree that I started two years ago and some embroidery for my grandma that I wanted to have done two months ago.

Getting Stuff Done

I'm glad no one can see the kitchen table I'm writing from. It's a mess of half done projects. A birdhouse I need to sand and varnish, a Harry Potter audio book we started, unread magazines (I get at least 7 or at least did before I lost track as one or two were Christmas presents), double prints and unsent cards, things to add to the calendar or RSVP for and me. No spiders lurking tonight. Looking around I see the article on how to ripen fruit that I want to save (bananas are magical fruit, not beans(!) because of the ethylene gas they emit). All of this and I managed to find energy to put flowers on the table, but not to clean any of this stuff off. This whole corner of the house is a project. On the floor and in my deluded sense, out of sight, I have a teacup and pez display that needs to be hung somewhere... probably my next house ;).

Catching up on Lifehacker today, I read a bunch of compelling things about being organized and productive. The one that most interested me was Dave Pollard's The Nine Reasons We Don't Do What We Should

I'm Being Bitten...

by something under the table. I keep itching in a new spot. I'm up to three bites. I don't think I have anything interesting enough to say to warrant giving this insect anymore time on the grosse deutsche Frau legs it thinks of as gyros sticks.

Flowers and David Gray

Delicate blue flower, originally uploaded by baglady.

Looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To open up my heart
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule

You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To show you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made

If you want it
Come and get it
For crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt

- from Babylon

St. Amour

I have the dashboard widget that reports French Saint Days. Today (well six minutes ago) was St. Amour's Day.

There is apparently a programmer somewhere who created a saint's day for himself:

Steve Perry to Visit London Zoo for Free

I Have a Fever and the Only Prescription Is

Night

Time for bed or at least off.



Feeling tired
By the fire
The long day is over

The wind is gone
Asleep at dawn
The embers burn on

With no reprise
The sun will rise
The long day is over

(Norah Jones, The Long Day is Over)

If anyone actually reads this, please don't tease me for digging Norah Jones. She's here and you're not. This is also a really cool song (and not one of her singles):

What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
I've opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I will love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
I've opened up my heart
Never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin true
What am I to you

For Happy...

Boys are stupid..., originally uploaded by baglady.

Looking For My Corner

My grandmother loaned my mom, who loaned to me, "The Secret Life of Bees". I'm only half way through, but really enjoying it. This week I felt like I was looking for my corner:

The first week... was a consolation, a pure relief. The world will give you that once in a while, a brief timeout; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat-up life.

ICE, ICE Baby

Make sure to add this before you forget:

In Case of Emergency Contact Cell Entry

Podcasting is Crazier Than Blogging

Sampling different podcasts. Found one on baking, Baking with the Bard.

Yoga travel, another interesting one.

Hypnotherapy podcast... can I trust it?

Save driving for adults... just talking to someone today about that! It's what your dad needs!

and my all time fav title: The Funeral X-Perience

Cool Stuff For Single Girls To Do

Looking for ways to fill my time - here are some serious candidates...

Gourds for Home Decor

Mystic Mushrooms - I'm such a nerd... that one looks pretty good. "How do mushrooms produce?"

Kansas and Eddie Money at Rincon - Dude, just dust in the wind.

Bobby McFerrin - I have known a lot of guys who loved to do McFerrin impersonations. It's kind of scary when you're driving with them because it involves lots of slapping yourself and dual hand moves... aside from just the sheer terror it already evokes!

Judy Collins - You have not fully appreciated Judy Collins until you have read Anthony Bourdain's passage about going through the endless Moroccan desert with only a Judy Collins tape to listen to. They used Bon Jovi to lure Noriego out. They are missing the boat and could seriously be crushing insurgents with some good ol' western folk music.

Sorry, Michael McDonald has been sold out. Even the description describes him as the "Former Steely Dan keyboardist and Doobie Brothers vocalist (it's his Mighty-Mouse-on-steroids soulful huskiness we remember from their songs)..."

Clearing My Schedule

I don't spend enough time blogging, so I've cleared my schedule tonight to really do some quality, or maybe quantity writing. I just finished another great Mma Ramotswe story by Alexander McCall Smith. Here is one of my favorite passages from the end of "The Full Cupboard of Life":

Life is perilous. At any time it could be too late. When you love another person, you must tell her, but you must also show her. You must do the thing that says to the world that you love that person. And this must never be put off, never.

Embroidery Is Cool

I love Jenny Hart's embroidery portraits, especially the one of the White Stripes.

Finished Pie

Finished Pie, originally uploaded by baglady.

Yumm... especially with vanilla bean ice cream.

White Peach & Blueberry Pie

White Peach & Blueberry Pie, originally uploaded by baglady.

I made a summer fruit pie from white peaches and blueberries. I used the recipe from "Best Recipes" with my own slights changes. Other ingredients included tapioca, candied ginger and of course, butter. Cooks Illustrated asserted that tapioca was the best thickener for the pie. The peaches weren't very ripe and I could have gotten away with only 3 Tbsp instead of 4. A friend had given me candied ginger for my last Thanksgiving turkey brine and I used the rest up in the pie. The only mistake I made was forgetting an egg wash. Pies look so much nicer a big more golden and shiny. I used a sea shell for the scalloped edging.

Chair Hint for Le Grande Asperge

from Bob Dylan's (and often covered) "Make You Feel My Love":

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

Umlauts in Heavy Metal

One of my friends claimed there was such an article in Wikipedia and here, I found it: A heavy metal umlaut is an umlaut over a letter in the name of a heavy metal band.... The first band that came to mind for me was Husker Du. I'm too lazy (and tired as aforementioned) to put in the umlauts, so let's pretend they are there.

I'm Too Tired...

to think of something interesting to say. So I'll just add this filler to make it appear as if the baglady is up and blogging about something really important in a very witty way. Wonder if this will look long enough. Maybe a few more words. Okay this is really the last bit of filler.

Nicest Words in the English Language

One of my friends was telling me some famous author thought there weren't any nicer words in the English language than "cellar door".

I think my favorite are, "I'm on my way".

Quote of the Day

From Coopa on Kevin's sysadmin prowess, "... he locks some shiznit down".

Last Memory

WARNING: SLIGHT MOVIE SPOILER

Watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind again. I love that movie. One of the coolest scenes is when Joel remembers talking in bed with Clementine and they are so close and honest, he decides he wants to save at least that memory. It's when he decides to try and fight erasing Clementine from his memory. It got me wondering what memory of me would make someone not erase me.

What's John Ashcroft Been Up To?

Take a listen to the audio that automatically plays when you launch the CHP site. I have the utmost respect for law enforcement. The awarding of speeding tickets aside, they pull drunk drivers off the road and chase down all sorts of bad people. Don't there deserve a better song?!

Smores Advice

Don't eat smores with the hand you use for the trackpad (while computing). Sticky situation.

Underarm Wetness

This has to be the worst underarm wetness I've seen in a long time and quite prominently displayed. It's linked from the Wikpedia Foundation's candidate's statements page.

Included here for those too lazy to click the link. You can make it out just right of the post titles. The pic is too big for my template.

Poloroid-o-nizer

Are you old enough to remember poloroids?! The chunky film packs in light tight packs and waiting for the film to develop before your eyes. This takes almost as long, but is fun and worth it: Poloroid-o-nizer.

Latest Work Restroom Irritant

In June, I wrote about the bathroom whistler that cramped my style. Today brought a new experience. Our building was designed in the 1960's and women's restrooms have an extra lounge attached to them. For the longest time, the one at work had a couch and no one really used it. About five years ago, a student employee discovered a stack of very raunchy magazines next to a box of Chem Wipes on the couch. We changed the lock and converted it into a store room almost overnight.

Today I needed to get some materials for an upcoming conference out of the bathroom storeroom. When I first unlocked the door, my key became stuck in the lock. The light over the door is out and there isn't a light inside; it was dark and the room is really dusty. With the door open, I saw that what I needed was out of reach. Kevin was able to help me get my key out of the lock and I went and found a ladder. The second time the door opened much easier and I quickly set up the ladder. While I was coming into the bathroom, I could hear a lot of loud farting from the only person in there. For men reading, it's not typical for women to be so loud when other's are around. I understand men let it rip, but not women usually unless it is a gastic necessity. I was put off a little, but figured the poor creature better release all of that air rather than worry about what I would think.

I got to the second to last step on the ladder and reached for the box I needed. Almost exactly at the same time, the woman farted again (really loudly) and my cell phone rang. I exclaimed, "You've got to be kidding me!", over my dismay at the inopportunely timed cell phone call. The woman must have though that I was at my whit's end with her gas, because she then started saying "Excuse me" after each big gasser from that point on. It was echoey in the bathroom/storeroom and I was also worried the person on the call would think I was farting while talking. I'm glad I only need to go into the storeroom a few times a year. Hanging out in public restrooms is not my idea of entertainment. If the person was one of my coworkers and ever reads this, 1,000 apologies for blogging about your "business".

Korn is Not Coldplay

I was attempting to find the words for Coldplay's "In My Place", but instead found Korn's "Reclaim My Place". Korn seems to make use of vulgar phraseology rather than the inventive illusions of Coldplay. Par example:

In the past I was known as a freak.
Had no friends, picked on 'cause I was weak.
Save my ass, I got into this band.

I've never, ever seen something like this at the end of a song:

What the fuck?! (x12)

Cheese Puffs Constant

Cheese puffs ingested and digested will always go straight to your butt and stay there. They might even keep that lumpy texture... even the reduced fat ones from Trader Joes with microbial rennet, whatever that is.

Let the Sun Shine, Let the Sun Shine In...

Five years ago, I bought a car that *happened* to have drug dealer tinting on the front windows. It's so dark, that if I'm turning at night, I sometimes have to roll down my window to look out it. It's been nice not getting a sunburn on my left arm (only) on car trips, but it was not not getting a fix it ticket to have removed. Whoever you are, Mr. CHP man, thank you for the encouragement that I could do it myself. Using a DIY web tutorial, I removed both window's tinting in about an hour. Didn't scratch the glass (go me!), but I inhaled a lot of 409 spraying down the windows. It was as described, a gross mess that took a whole roll of paper towels and 4 razor blades. Thank goodness for the little gadget I have for scraping down the stovetop. Only one small nick on a finger.

Luke, I would have used up one of my birthday hours on this!

Here's Looking at You, Kid...

Independent Toes, originally uploaded by baglady.

My tribute to a neat lady who died last Sunday. In your color, Barbara, with designs. (Red is my favorite color for toes too).

Cool and Big Brothery at the Same Time

From San Diego Blog:

Blogdigger uses a number of methods to identify a site’s location. The best way is to support the ICBM or geoPosition meta data specification which defines your site’s latitude/longitude as an HTML metatag. More information can be found at GeoURL, and information on finding your latitude/longitude can be found here.

"...the shading on your upper lip"

These soundbites from Napoleon Dynamite are addicting. Awesome!

Where I've Been

We're on a roadtrip and one of Happy's posts got me thinking about

where I've been in the U.S. I guess I could have counted Texas, but I only flew into the airport and then out again.

The

visited countries map is less impressive. I've been into Victoria to the north and just TJ to the south.