Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Never Prettier

I remember the day I was married, my grandmother whispering in my ear, "You will never look more beautiful than you do today". She was right. It's inevitable. We reach the peaks of our looks and then slowly get more middle-aged looking. Those reading that are older than I am (if anyone is indeed reading ;), might be offended that I am already complaining about this. I can tell the difference the last decade - or even the last five years have made. My head turning phase was very short lived and that might have had more to do with working in a man's field than my great looks :P. (At many jobs I've been the only woman in my unit). All of the sudden I'm the person college students and dads ask what aisle they need at the grocery store. I know the answers too. Frozen garlic bread is near entrees and pizzas. Peanut butter is on the bread aisle. Breadcrumbs are on the top shelf near the baking supplies. I know when to use Tylenol or Advil. I know how to get wine out of a light colored shirt and I always have a tire guage in my car. I like nurturing people a lot. I don't miss having less life experience, but I do miss my 20-something flatter stomach and glowy skin. What I miss the most is feeling more confident that I'm appreciated as a woman. That sounds so cheesy, but any ladies reading this will know what I mean!

This week's Time has a great except from Dr. Andrew Weil's book on living better, longer: Healthy Aging:

I hope that you will discover and enjoy the benefits that aging can bring: wisdom, depth of character, the smoothing out of what is rough and harsh, the evaporation of what is inconsequential and the concentration of true worth.

I'm feeling some of those in small amounts. I am wise on some topics... although some issues in particular - I have huge blind spots. If depth of character can be reflected in letting people see how weird I am and being comfortable with that, I think I can count it. I gave some of you the address of the blog :P. I see the smoothing out, but there is a long way to go. It would be nice if you could get personality callous remover. The last area has been very problematic for me lately. Far too many things are falling in the inconsequential category. I don't see many in the true worth column. Things feel out of balance. I don't know if it's life choices or attitude. Speaking of attitude, I am temporarily breaking my moratorium on quoting country lyrics:

I don't buy the lines in magazines
That tell me what I've gotta be
Don't base my life on a movie screen
Don't fit the mold...

I don't need to be 19 years old
Or starve myself for some weight I'm told
Or turn men's heads...

And I no longer justify
Reasons for the way that I behave
I offer no apologies
For the things that I believe and say
And I like it that way

Cause I'm a real live woman

Okay, so don't forget to notice!!!

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