Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Mark Bittman: Killer of Tomatoes

Either I failed Mark Bittman or he failed me with his lousy (LOUSY), did I mention? LOUSY recipe for Gazpacho. Everyone says East Coast tomatoes are totally different and that is my hope at why this recipe was so beyond bad. I love his "Joy of Cooking" sized tome, "How to Cook Everything", but trust me, it does not include how to cook - or assemble - Gazpacho. I bought almost a full grocery bag of vegetables; save one cucumber it was to the letter of what he proscribed. It made something that would not only didn't fit in my blender, but looked and smelled like barf. I am very acquainted with barf (morning sickness) and this was an excellent facsimile of what is in your stomach after lunch. When I was finished, it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I had taken a few pounds of beautiful tomatoes, a cucumber, lovely french bread, etc. and turned it into something that would only be served at a shellbacking event. To add insult to injury, in the day it took me to decide to just pour it down the sink, it made my fridge smell like said upchuck. I suppose I should just be thankful that I didn't clog my sink. /rant. Okay I feel a little better about this now, but I will not be making Gazpacho for a while.

1 comment:

Elinoire said...

Raaarrrrggh. I hate it when that happens. I've never made upchuck gazpacho, but I *have* made raspberry jam that was so tough I could not get a spoon in the jar once it set. No, really. That's raspberry CONCRETE is what that is, and it's really friggin' annoying. Nothing like turning lovely produce and several hours of ones time into something completely inedible to boost the morale, huh?

You have my sympathy.

(Oh, and a couple months ago I turned several pounds of wonderful local tomatoes into too-salty-to-eat tomato soup, so that was neat, too.)