The government of Malaysia has announced a new list of names you cannot give to your newborn:
Hokkien Chinese Ah Chwar (snake)
Khiow Khoo (hunchback)
Chow Tow (smelly head)
Sor Chai (insane)
Karrupusamy (black god)
Woti (sexual intercourse)
Gwyneth Paltrow, who has a baby named Apple, would have been out of luck in Malaysia. Is Jade a color? I thought it was a symbol of good luck, but could also be out. "Parents will not be able to call their babies after animals, insects, fruit, vegetables or colours."
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Getting Serious Without Falling Overboard
Garrison Keillor has a great quote about marriage:
In general, the rules for marriage are similar to the rules for being in a lifeboat on the open ocean: don't crowd each other, no sudden moves, and keep all disastrous thoughts to yourself.
In searching for it, I found another great quote about the perfect woman:
The perfect woman is the woman who you love to converse with and who you want to tell everything to. The moment you have a big experience, you want her there to listen to your account of it. Her take on things fascinates you, her talk is pleasurable to you, and you love her company. That's what you want in a companion.
Is this true? Do men change at a specific age? The ones in my age range seem to be a lot more shallow. Maybe that's SoCal for you?
In general, the rules for marriage are similar to the rules for being in a lifeboat on the open ocean: don't crowd each other, no sudden moves, and keep all disastrous thoughts to yourself.
In searching for it, I found another great quote about the perfect woman:
The perfect woman is the woman who you love to converse with and who you want to tell everything to. The moment you have a big experience, you want her there to listen to your account of it. Her take on things fascinates you, her talk is pleasurable to you, and you love her company. That's what you want in a companion.
Is this true? Do men change at a specific age? The ones in my age range seem to be a lot more shallow. Maybe that's SoCal for you?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
I Hate the Crawl (Too)!
Thank you Lewis Black for saying what the rest of us are thinking. Too much information! I hate the crazy banner and the crawling news feed.
Via Digg: Lewis Black demands CNN banner disappear.
Via Digg: Lewis Black demands CNN banner disappear.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Ring Me Cizzle Badizzle Fo Sho
Copying Vermiciousknitter's cool post, the following are some of my alter egos:
YOUR PORN STAR NAME
(your first pet, the name of the first street you lived on):
Gina Piedmont
This formula works!
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite kind of candy):
Mary Swedishfish
YOUR FLY GIRL/GUY NAME
(first initial of first name followed by "izzle", first two or three letters of your last name followed by "dizzle"):
Cizzle Badizzle
(I'm sure Snoop would pronounce it "sizzle").
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME
(favorite color, favorite animal):
Blue Dolphin
Sounds like a bar.
YOUR STAR WARS NAME
(first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice):
Chrger GinGin
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME
("The", your favorite color, the type of car you drive):
The Blue Expedition
YOUR PORN STAR NAME
(your first pet, the name of the first street you lived on):
Gina Piedmont
This formula works!
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite kind of candy):
Mary Swedishfish
YOUR FLY GIRL/GUY NAME
(first initial of first name followed by "izzle", first two or three letters of your last name followed by "dizzle"):
Cizzle Badizzle
(I'm sure Snoop would pronounce it "sizzle").
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME
(favorite color, favorite animal):
Blue Dolphin
Sounds like a bar.
YOUR STAR WARS NAME
(first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice):
Chrger GinGin
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME
("The", your favorite color, the type of car you drive):
The Blue Expedition
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Lost In Translation
There really is a TV show that airs from 11:30 p.m. to 12:00 a.m. called Infarto. It appears to be a Mexican news station. I tuned in and waited for a punch line... no luck. There were a lot of very jubilant people south of the border jumping around for some reason.
The stranger episode occured yesterday when North Korea test fired the Taepodong-2 and the Nodong missiles. I know I'm not the first to note this, but wonder if anyone has tried telling them?
Dear North Korea,
The word "dong" is a nine on the Beevis and Butthead snickers scale. You people need to get out more often or order Berlitz Does English. If you're going to try and get up in our grill on our national holiday, try naming your weapons something a little scarier and less antiphallic. A few suggestions:
RAWR
HASSELHOFF
LOTSADONG
Sincerely,
The Baglady
P.S. Kim Jong, speaking of unmanly things, please work with the hair! Are you trying to give Donald Trump a run for his worst-hairdo-on-a-rich-guy ever or what?!
The stranger episode occured yesterday when North Korea test fired the Taepodong-2 and the Nodong missiles. I know I'm not the first to note this, but wonder if anyone has tried telling them?
Dear North Korea,
The word "dong" is a nine on the Beevis and Butthead snickers scale. You people need to get out more often or order Berlitz Does English. If you're going to try and get up in our grill on our national holiday, try naming your weapons something a little scarier and less antiphallic. A few suggestions:
RAWR
HASSELHOFF
LOTSADONG
Sincerely,
The Baglady
P.S. Kim Jong, speaking of unmanly things, please work with the hair! Are you trying to give Donald Trump a run for his worst-hairdo-on-a-rich-guy ever or what?!
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Anes: Where Does Ikea Come Up With This Stuff?
I'm starting to wonder if anyone at Ikea's corporate headquarters really speaks English. Two of their new products:
Jerker
Call me fussy, but I don't want to pull on a drawer handle every day that's called the jerker.
Anes
Okay so the Anes bed frame name has a little circley thing over the top of the "A". By my junior high humor standards, it still looks and sounds too close to that planet between Saturn and Neptune.
Jerker
Call me fussy, but I don't want to pull on a drawer handle every day that's called the jerker.
Anes
Okay so the Anes bed frame name has a little circley thing over the top of the "A". By my junior high humor standards, it still looks and sounds too close to that planet between Saturn and Neptune.
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