Reservations

Just stumbled on a new favorite Wilco song, "Reservations". It would be amazing to have someone write you a love song, but maybe not this one. Too real.

*****

How can I convince you it's me I don't like
And not be so indifferent to the look in your eyes
When I've always been distant
and I've always told lies for love

I'm bound by these choices so hard to make
I'm bound by the feeling so easy to fake
None of this is real enough to take me from you

Oh I've got reservations
about so many things
but not about you

I know this isn't what you were wanting me to say
How can I get closer and be further away
From the truth that proves it's beautiful to lie

****

I guess that's just it. I probably want to hear the lies at least some of the time. (Too lazy to do the right characters. Imagine I'm slick).
- Vous etes la femme la plus belle au monde.
- Il n'ya personne comme vous.
- Je mourrais sans vous.
- Vous etes l'amour de la vie.
- Sie sinde die grobe deutsche Frau.
and my favorite (every 6 mos is enough):
- Don't lose any weight. You are perfect as you are.

I am going to quit now before I put Morrissey out of business.

Salt n' Peppa(corn)

Slashfood found a very cool closeup of salt and a peppercorn:

Onion Patch Incident

Enjoyed seeing friends play the open mic night at Twiggs.



I love their band name - an obscure Napoleon Dynamite reference.

Oktoberfest/Halloween Costume

I've been half-heartedly searching for an Oktoberfest outfit that could double duty as a Halloween costume. My grandpa (super German) has real lederhosen and has worn them many times over the years. Most of the available styles are either too slutty or too much the other way. I came across a strange web site in looking for costumes: German Theme Wedding. What caught my eye is that the *very* first link is Big Girls' Bras. That seems to be racist to me. Are large and German synonymous with one another?

Coffins Popping Up

This was one of the things I'd wondered about in my previous hurricane post. Certainly not the worst or most important aspect of the hurricanes, but it looks like it was an issue :(.

Scarecrow Toilet Seat Cover

This is lovely:

Realization #57

Sometimes (and more than you'd like), there is no one that knows the answer. You just have to do the best you can. This is closely related to realization #48. The only one who can stand up for you is you.

Stewart Smalleyesque quote of the day:

I am my own super hero.

The Real Iceland

Nature..at the beginning, originally uploaded by Kariobinja.

Visuals to go with previous post.

Iceland: Europe's Largest Desert

The BBC had an interesting podcast this week:

World Stories: The Biggest Desert in Europe

(I am too retarded/lazy to figure out how to provide a link. You can go to the iTunes store --> podcasts and search... easy to find).

Q: What do you do if you get lost in an Icelandic forest?
A: Stand up.

Even though the pictures of Iceland look like tundra, it's technically 1/3 desert. They have a huge soil erosion problem. Circa the Vikings, Iceland was green. One man talked about why he spends his retirement (airline pilot) planting trees for a forest he will never see. Paraphrasing and fixing his use of "mortuary" when he meant "obituary" ;).

Someday when I die, maybe someone will write an obituary about me. They'll say, "he changed the landscape". I'd rather that instead of, "He flew some drunken Icelandic to Majorca".

Blam

I had to turn off anonymous posting because I keep getting blam on my blog. That's what I'm calling blog spam.

Strange Inflatable Dwelling

A jumpy house for Coop or Matthew's next bday ;):

World's First Inflatable Pub

Office Slang

I thought I'd heard it all, but the Office Slang site had some need ones. My faves:

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.....

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”

Strange, but True... Lobster Vending Machines

Strange vending machines:



The same page has a link to some strange stores. I recommend skipping the "Hair Make PEE" store. Human parking sounds pretty good.

Don't Miss This Gem!

I wonder if it's possible to get dutch channels on satellite. Doesn't sound like you need to speak the language to understand this show:

Live drug taking plan on Dutch TV

A presenter on a new chat show in the Netherlands is planning to take drugs such as heroin live on air, aiming to tackle issues facing young people.

In other segments of the show, Wesselink plans to go on a drinking binge in a series of pubs. He also plans to take the hallucinogenic drug LSD - on his couch under the supervision of his mother.

BNN has courted controversy with its shows in the past, including a sex education programme which featured life-size mannequins with sex organs.

But Did He Get the Job? aka Fashion Emergency

Man's static jacket sparks alert:

An Australian man built up so much static electricity in his clothes as he walked that he burned carpets, melted plastic and sparked a mass evacuation.

One Bill Lower

I was excited to receive my latest auto policy bill. It was actually cheaper this year. I'm sure it's because my car is one year crappier. Found a cool link on the California Insurance Commissioner's site about comparing company premiums.

Compare Auto Insurance Premiums

Don't miss the home page. Talk about the ego involved in having a large picture of yourself. He looks like a kinder, gentler Alec Baldwin.

More Cowbell Katrina

This made me smile:

Email: I salute you, Texas

I just returned from the Austin Convention Center after working all day with Katrina Evacuees...

Yummm

Devilsfood cake with marshmallow frosting

Elvis in Post Its

Elvis made out of Post It notes = awesome!

What Is My French Name... Chain Blogging

Stolen off Happy's blog. My name is:


Chantal Lavallee

What's Your French Name?

Who's That Masked Man?!

If you need something quick to look at that will crack you up, check out:

Man Rocks Out iPod Style in Apple Store

Fall Is Here

When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

- John Mayer, "Something's Missing"

Where's the Beef?

Actually it's on its way to help hurricane victims in the gulf area:

Hickory Farms Donate Snacks For Hurricane Katrina Relief

Wonder if they want fruit cakes too.

Dumbest Ending To a Book EVER

(warning slight spoiler)

I just finished the prequel to "The DaVinci Code": "Angels & Demons". While not a literary keeper, it was a great action/suspense book. All 569 paperback pages of it. I brought it to the gym, read it before bed, over dinner, while waiting in the car, basically every chance I could get. It needed to end sooner. It had the dumbest last lines of all time. You could so tell a man wrote it :P.

Vittoria slipped off her robe. "You've never been to bed with a yoga master, have you?"

What the hell, Dan Brown? You suck me in with a great story about the Illuminati trying to bring down Catholicism and this is how the book ends?!

Definition of a Mack Daddy

I don't really know what a mack daddy is. If it means you kick butt, then here's someone who really does.

Kenya's Oldest Pupil Addresses the U.N. General Assembly

What is a pooter?

I don't really know, but here is how you make one:

Making the best kind of bug catcher

Scene of a Crime

I woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking about the hurricane victims, especially the ones in New Orleans. I just don't understand why it took so long to help people. It's not a naive thought or one placed there by the media. I just really don't understand. I'm filled with so much sadness for all of the people lost. I wish I had seen New Orleans before all of this happened. I wish citizens would have been allowed to pick people up in their SUVs or vans and to have joined the caravan to Texas. How much worse could things have turned out, had people been allowed to help? Even if it only helped a few hundred people, it would have mattered to them... and to the people who care for them. I read a coworker's account of being stuck in NO on "vacation". By Sunday when the evacuation was ordered, Greyhound and Amtrak had stopped running out of NO. Given the choice of going to the Superdome or staying home, I too probably would have chosen to stay at home.

I've been having some random thoughts on the whole situation. Obviously the most important worries are those for people, especially those who still need rescuing, care and those rebuilding their lives. I suspect in the coming months, as with 9/11, that we will learn about the other things lost. Some horrific, some sad, some strange. I wonder about all of the cemetaries - the ones people would tour or that were in movies set in NO. Did the coffins come loose? I remember when a family member died during El Nino a few years ago. The funeral was delayed twice. We were told the ground was so wet, if you buried someone, they would "pop back up" :O. That was a comforting thought :(. What about people about to be proscecuted for crimes? Crime scenes were completely destroyed, I bet. What about all of the people that don't have a photo of their parents or of their kids? In any city, I bet there are things everyone needs to get rid of. Why can't be those the only things lost? The world could do with a few less Epiladys, Foreman grills and pairs of parachute pants. Maybe the Gulf of Mexico would send us back some of the things we want if we started parachute pant sacrifices?

Gaim Is For Geeks

My laptop is in the shop and I finally installed Gaim on my desktop. I've been disconnected at night for a week. Gaim is definitely for geeks. What other program boasts a "wimp" theme, a "penguin pimp" emoticon theme and an esperanto spell checker.