Saturday, October 20, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Heart Breaker
In case you have the internet in heaven... let them know we need you back here and that it was just a mistake.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Summer Baking Therapy
Tonight I made the Peach Puzzle, from the most recent Cook's Country. I haven't made anything like it before. It's a cross between a cobbler and a pineapple upside down cake, but really not either. You place an empty ramekin in a pie plate face down with seven peaches, drizzle a yummy homemade syrup and top with a biscuit dough. Click through to my other Flickr pics to see the outcome. It was very satisfying to flip it onto a platter and see all of the syrup drain into the ramekin.
The syrup reminded me of breakfasts growing up. Neither my Mom or my grandma buy syrup. They would always make it alongside pancakes or waffles or dutch babies. Homemade isn't as thick, but it has a great flavor and no chemicals. It was also super hot. My grandma still makes hot chocolate on the stove with Ovaltine. I want to say it's making me hungry, but I'm stuffed from eating some of the puzzle.
The syrup reminded me of breakfasts growing up. Neither my Mom or my grandma buy syrup. They would always make it alongside pancakes or waffles or dutch babies. Homemade isn't as thick, but it has a great flavor and no chemicals. It was also super hot. My grandma still makes hot chocolate on the stove with Ovaltine. I want to say it's making me hungry, but I'm stuffed from eating some of the puzzle.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Call Me Sick
but I think it looks phallic too:
“If it looks like a phallic symbol, someone has a strange perception,” said Shapery, a San Diego-based developer. “You can find sex anywhere if you want to. . . . There's just some sick people out there.”
“If it looks like a phallic symbol, someone has a strange perception,” said Shapery, a San Diego-based developer. “You can find sex anywhere if you want to. . . . There's just some sick people out there.”
Monday, July 02, 2007
Open Letter to Mr. Val Kilmer
Dear Mr. Kilmer,
Today at the checkout stand in my local grocery store, I saw the unfortunate tabloid picture of you with your gut hanging over your swim trunks. I still think you are hot. It was probably taken by some jealous paparazzi.
xoxox,
The Baglady
Today at the checkout stand in my local grocery store, I saw the unfortunate tabloid picture of you with your gut hanging over your swim trunks. I still think you are hot. It was probably taken by some jealous paparazzi.
xoxox,
The Baglady
Monday, June 18, 2007
Have a Happy Period!
A few months ago when applying a feminine product to my undergarments, I found a message scrawled all over the part covering what the manufacturer refers to as the "wings." Never before had such a mundane and even depressing moment been met with such exuberance. I almost immediately wanted to share it with my three readers, but panicked that on top of being an unsavory topic that certifying the occurrence of my period was somehow just completely undignified.
The problem was that every time I thought to blog about this I was on my period. The "Have a Happy Period!" messages would remind me and I would set aside a new adhesive covering to scan. This went on for a good 4-5 cycles and every time I cleaned my counters I had to find a place to tuck that stupid piece of waxy paper.
The latest package I bought does not include this message - no well wishes, just the old boring badge. I was determined to find the paper right then and there (well after I had pulled my pants up) and set out to find the scrap. I tore some of my piles apart and made a mess looking for it. I decided that I had to finally let the world know what was going on in women's sanitary products. I was going to let the blogosphere (gross word) know even if it meant exposing my cycle date. "Let them know! Let them mark their calendars and live in fear!" I thought. Perhaps due to blood loss, I could not find the memento and gave up. In looking to see if someone else had posted a pic, I did find that Always has a whole web site dedicated to this philosophy.
So don't believe me, check it out for yourself. I especially enjoyed the narcissistic philosophy that included, "This is the time when, even if something is even slightly annoying, the world (curly font) should know about it." Isn't that what blogs are for? Now I have TWO excuses. I haven't heard from my sister yet; I hope she enjoyed the ecard I sent her. I am still trying to understand just what kind of person would download the Always background in the "pick-me-up downloads". It's bad enough wearing a small diaper; I definitely don't want to stare at a reminder of it all day.
Sorry to tell you that while I finally found the scrap of paper after cleaning my desk, it is no longer "that time," so friends you will have to be on guard all month as usual.
While I am on this subject, I would like Ralph's to know that they are NOT Costco. When I got my most recent period early and went to the store for more panty liners, there were only three choices. 1. Costco-sized box. 2. Thong liners. WHAT IS THE POINT? (Shaking head) 3. Large(r) woman size. I am big, but not that big and hey, I can just get an adult diaper if it comes to that. I had just done my Trader Joe's shopping and had a full cart, so in addition to being forced to choose the Costco-sized box, I had to put it right on top of all the bags. While I don't mind sharing my period stories with all of you, I just don't want to stand in line behind a bunch of teenagers with over a hundred sanitary napkins. Call me old fashioned.
The problem was that every time I thought to blog about this I was on my period. The "Have a Happy Period!" messages would remind me and I would set aside a new adhesive covering to scan. This went on for a good 4-5 cycles and every time I cleaned my counters I had to find a place to tuck that stupid piece of waxy paper.
The latest package I bought does not include this message - no well wishes, just the old boring badge. I was determined to find the paper right then and there (well after I had pulled my pants up) and set out to find the scrap. I tore some of my piles apart and made a mess looking for it. I decided that I had to finally let the world know what was going on in women's sanitary products. I was going to let the blogosphere (gross word) know even if it meant exposing my cycle date. "Let them know! Let them mark their calendars and live in fear!" I thought. Perhaps due to blood loss, I could not find the memento and gave up. In looking to see if someone else had posted a pic, I did find that Always has a whole web site dedicated to this philosophy.
So don't believe me, check it out for yourself. I especially enjoyed the narcissistic philosophy that included, "This is the time when, even if something is even slightly annoying, the world (curly font) should know about it." Isn't that what blogs are for? Now I have TWO excuses. I haven't heard from my sister yet; I hope she enjoyed the ecard I sent her. I am still trying to understand just what kind of person would download the Always background in the "pick-me-up downloads". It's bad enough wearing a small diaper; I definitely don't want to stare at a reminder of it all day.
Sorry to tell you that while I finally found the scrap of paper after cleaning my desk, it is no longer "that time," so friends you will have to be on guard all month as usual.
While I am on this subject, I would like Ralph's to know that they are NOT Costco. When I got my most recent period early and went to the store for more panty liners, there were only three choices. 1. Costco-sized box. 2. Thong liners. WHAT IS THE POINT? (Shaking head) 3. Large(r) woman size. I am big, but not that big and hey, I can just get an adult diaper if it comes to that. I had just done my Trader Joe's shopping and had a full cart, so in addition to being forced to choose the Costco-sized box, I had to put it right on top of all the bags. While I don't mind sharing my period stories with all of you, I just don't want to stand in line behind a bunch of teenagers with over a hundred sanitary napkins. Call me old fashioned.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Big Boned Women and the Hazards of Jumping
If I ever do internet dating, which I seriously, seriously never plan to do, I would list my ability to clear drains as a skill. I was sure the clogs in my shower and bathroom sink were going to require a visit from my handyman. Nevertheless after being grossed out for the last time at the slow drain situation, I decided I had nothing to lose and went to it. I am an upside person, but using the fact that you're standing in your own rinsed off grodiness to understand how difficult bathing conditions in third world countries must be to abate my whiny thoughts has only limited success. With my only materials being my hand cloaked in a trash bag, scissors and hot water I removed all of the hair, etc. from the drain. It didn't really help, but I hadn't expected it to. I scrubbed the shower down, waited for the silt to drain. A few minutes into the shower and of course with soap in my eyes, I heard a belch from the pipes underneath me. At first I wasn't sure what it was, but realized it was the drain clearing. It took my best measures of self control to keep from jumping up and down. My place has really lame construction quality and I pictured jumping up and landing finally in the tub a floor below Laurel & Hardy style. Of course with the plumbing the way it is, the stuff I cleared is probably now partnering with other blockages to necessitate a serious call from the handyman for a full snaking, but for now I bask in my small victory. It feels great to rock at small home repair skills.
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